is your mom at the bar?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize