i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
