Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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