The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
