the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize