It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize