And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
