last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
if only i could text you this smell
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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