Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
