i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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