After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I would ride that face into the sunset
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
