there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize