he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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