I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
