I must be too annoying 4 u.
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
