That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize