Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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