Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
