on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize