Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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