Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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