school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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