JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize