There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
even my farts smell like vagina
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize