I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
