you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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