so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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