Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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