can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
