I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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