Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Randomize
