He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize