just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
