idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
