Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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