Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
