youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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