trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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