She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
accomplished twins. life is a go
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
