Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize