When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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