im drinking this country out of the recession.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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