Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
