so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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