At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
