i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
