it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
