Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
