She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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