Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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