You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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