Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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