Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
