So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
