She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize