dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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