I hope mine doesn't look like that
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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