No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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