Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
