so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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