there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
