i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You were trust falling into bushes
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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