Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There r osticjed everywhere
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
