K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize