super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
