he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
